


Love Is a Pain in the Ass

by scandalsavage



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Anal Sex, Biting, Butt Plugs, Consensual Sex, Handcuffs, M/M, Object Insertion, Officer Grayson, Rough Sex, jaydick_flashfic: valentine’s crime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 13:08:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17808548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scandalsavage/pseuds/scandalsavage
Summary: Jason gets arrested. Good thing he knows one of the officers.





	Love Is a Pain in the Ass

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授翻/Dickjay】Love Is a Pain in the Ass](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19972693) by [LeeZing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeeZing/pseuds/LeeZing)



> I’m... SO sorry about the title...
> 
> ...I just couldn’t resist...

It’s been a long damn night. Valentine’s Day is always one of the worst ‘holidays’ for Dick. Domestic disturbance calls are some of his least favorite and for some reason they’re more prevalent in Blüdhaven today. It’s… really depressing.

He sighs, exhausted already and tosses his coat on the back of his desk chair. He still has a few hours left on his shift so he’s going to finish up his paperwork and get the hell out of here as quickly as he can. He has his own Valentine to get home to. And at least when they get rough it’s on well-defined and thoroughly discussed terms.

A loud, familiar laugh resonates through the busy office jolting Dick back to his feet before his butt even hits the seat of his chair. He scans the room, searching for the source, hoping he’s wrong.

But no, there’s no mistake. Jason is sitting on the other side of the room, cuffed to a chair next to Officer Mendoza’s desk as she chuckles and marks something on the form in front of her. Her partner, Officer Sorensen, is leaning against her desk, shaking his head, shoulders moving up and down in suppressed laughter.

“Officer Grayson!” Jason chimes brightly, grinning ear to ear, when Dick approaches. Dick doesn’t know what’s going on, but clearly Jason isn’t hiding the fact that they know each other.

“Jay…?” Dick hedges, giving him a chance to clue him in somehow. Jason doesn’t legally exist. He has no prints, no other biometrics, he doesn’t even have a name. But the John Doe who matches his description who escaped custody is still a wanted man.

“Told you,” Jason says to the other officers, smug look on his face, “We go way back.”

“So do you know his name?” Mendoza asks, “He won’t tell us. And he has no ID, no prints or anything on file.”

Dick swallows, sparing a moment to glare at Jason for putting him in this situation. But Jason just keeps smiling.

“No,” he replies finally, turning his attention to the other officers, “Jay is all he ever said.”

“You’ve never booked him for anything though?” Sorenson asks.

“Nah, never had anything on him. Just usually ‘in the wrong place at the wrong time’ type of thing.”

Mendoza snorts. “Or wrong place at the right time. If you ask that girl anyway.”

“Huh?”

“Oh come on, Dickie,” Jason smirks, “You didn’t think I ended up here for something serious did you?”

“You’re cuffed to the chair so…”

“Oh that’s mostly for show. But now that you’re here,” Mendoza fumbles with the keys a bit before reaching over and freeing one of Jason’s wrists so that she can get him to his feet and re-cuff him, hands behind his back, “We wouldn’t have brought him in at all but the guy was standing right there threatening to press charges. Anyway, Jay said he knew you so we figured you could take him back and get his official statement and all.”

“Care to give me a summary? What happened?” Dick asks, a little testily. He’s going to kick Jason’s ass later.

“When we got there Jay was beating the shit out of a would be rapist—“

“Asshole had the nerve to tell me you couldn’t rape a prostitute,” Jason grumbles expression going dark.

Dick gives him a small, knowing smile and nods. He doesn’t need the rest of the story. Jason has always felt very… strongly about those kinds of crimes.

“The guy kept shouting that he’d press charges, he’d sue the department if we didn’t arrest the guy who assaulted him, the usual spiel,” Sorensen adds, “So we picked him up just to cover our bases.”

“You good to do this, Grayson?” Mendoza asks, “We can—“

“Nah, I’ve got it.” Dick grabs Jason lightly by the arm to guide him back to one of the interrogation rooms for some privacy.

Dick taps a button on his phone before they enter to loop the security feed in the chosen room. Then he gives Jason a shove through the door taking more than a little satisfaction in the way he stumbles a few steps before catching his balance.

“That was uncalled for,” Jason grumbles, turning around to face him.

“Oh was it? Because you’re still a wanted man, asshole. And you let yourself get caught! Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you just grapple away?”

Dick crosses his arms across the badge on his chest and glares at him. Jason swallows, looks down at his shoes, up to Dick’s belt where his gun, taser, and baton are stored, before smiling a little self-consciously up at him.

Dick’s brows go up in surprise as he realizes. A mischievous smile spreads slowly across his face.

“Jason,” he starts, stalking closer, “Did you get yourself arrested to see me?”

Jason, hands still cuffed behind his back, steps back as Dick steps forward, until he bumps into the steel table bolted to the floor, face flushing pink.

“You said you wouldn’t be back until after midnight,” he mumbles, not meeting Dick’s eyes.

“And you wanted to spend Valentine’s Day together, didn’t you?”

The amused disbelief is clear in Dick’s voice. And Dick thinks it’s adorable the way Jason’s blush deepens as he calls him out.

He crowds Jason’s space, grips the table behind the younger man, a hand on either side of his hips, and leans in until his lips brush against Jason’s.

“It’s really cute,” he mutters, enjoying the shiver that runs down Jason’s spine as his eyes flutter closed, “how big of a gooey, romantic sap you are under that big, bad, hard candy coating.”

“Shut up, Dickface. Just bec—“

Dick slams their mouths together to silence him and grins against his lips when he opens up easily, allowing Dick’s tongue to lick into him. Jason groans and spreads his legs so that Dick can slot himself against him.

Pulling back to get some air, Dick considers waiting, making Jason wait, until they can get home. But then it wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day anymore.  
Also, he’s on the clock and getting paid to have a quickie with his… Jason in an interrogation room feels so wrong in just the right way.

“You’ve been a pretty bad boy tonight,” Dick hums, laughing a little when Jason chokes on his own saliva, “Getting arrested and making me have to think up an excuse for how you get out of here without taking a statement, so that the guy you almost killed doesn’t sue us…”

Jason grunts and curses when Dick suddenly flips him around, bending him over the table, and reaches between his legs to grab his balls.

“Jesus, fuck, Dickie,” Jason gasps before gritting his teeth and hissing as Dick squeezes.

“You’re causing me quite a lot of trouble,” Dick purrs, “You’re gonna have to make it up to me.”

“When—when we get home I’ll…”

“Nah uh. Payment first, then I help you out of the trouble you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“You—you want me to bribe you, officer?”

“No, delinquent, a ‘bribe’ implies you’re offering; that you have a choice,” Dick grins, biting Jason’s neck before wrapping his arms around the narrow waist in front of him and working Jason’s belt open. “I’m going to take what I want from you and you’re going to give it, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, officer,” Jason says breathlessly, pressing back against Dick’s crotch in silent encouragement.

Dick rips Jason’s jeans and underwear down in one rough motion and leaves the fabric wrapped around his ankles. Then he starts sliding his hands up Jason’s calves, over the backs of his thighs and finally to his ass where he grabs a handful and spreads.

His breath catches. “Oh, little wing,” he breathes reverently, staring at the red, heart-shaped rhinestone on the hilt of the plug nestled snugly in Jason’s asshole.

“Happy Val—Valentine’s Day,” Jason manages to huff out softly.

Dick pulls at the plug slowly, focused on the way Jason’s muscles tense, the way his his rim clenches, trying to cling to the metal toy.

It pops free with a wet sucking sound and now Dick can see the excess of lube Jason used. It’s dripping from the plug and oozing out of the loosened hole.

Dick groans, cock growing harder in his pants that are suddenly too tight, and bites down hard on Jason’s asscheek making him yelp.

“Shh, baby, you have to keep it down,” Dick instructs as he reaches for one of the items on his belt, “We don’t want anyone coming in here.”

“Yes, officer,” Jason breathes.

Dick stands, rubs a hand down the other man’s muscular back before grabbing hold of the chain between the cuffs and leaning over him, a little off to the left.

“Such a good little criminal,” he coos, “You ready, little wing?”

Jason nods and shifts his hips in anticipation.

Dick grins. Then shoves his baton past the eager, fluttering, entrance to Jason’s passage.

He watches Jason squeeze his eyes shut, his mouth falling open as he cries out briefly before slamming it closed again, biting his lip to keep himself quiet.

Dick pulls it back out quickly and rams it in again, deep, until it can’t go any further, and brutal.

Jason chokes on the breath he took and sobs. Tears are already clinging to his lashes.

“You like that, baby?” Dick checks in a way that won’t kill the mood if everything is fine. Jason hasn’t used their safe word but… better safe than sorry.

He nods again and shoves his hips back onto the nightstick.

“Are all jailbirds such sluts?” Dick asks playfully, “Or is that unique to you?”

”ah—fuck… o—officer… please—“

The rest of his words are driven away when Dick starts mercilessly fucking the baton into him. He lets his eyes wonder from Jason’s gorgeous face down to where his hole is stretched obscenely around the fat piece of black plastic. Dick marvels at the way its length disappears inside his little wing’s body at each push, the way he takes everything so beautifully with desperate, pained little grunts and puffs of air.

Something animal and primal grabs hold of him and he slams the rod into Jason even harder, viciously punching the wall at the back of his passage over and over again, morbidly wondering if he can make it go even deeper.

Jason is crying and his lip is bleeding from being bitten hard enough to keep the younger man quiet. But he’s meeting each furious thrust like it’s the best thing he’s ever felt.

When Jason comes, Dick doesn’t waste a second. He drops the baton on the ground, uses his grip on the chain to flip Jason over again, pushing him to his knees, all before Jason has the chance to register that the intrusion in gone.

“Be a good little criminal slut and open up for me,” Dick growls. But his smile is warm when Jason’s jaw drops and his tongue comes out, waiting patiently as Dick frees himself.

Their eyes meet. And through the wet lashes and eyes red and swollen from crying, Dick is struck by the love and adoration he finds in Jason’s teal gaze.

He cups Jason’s tear-stained cheek gently, knowing he’ll get the narrowed eyes and slight scowl for dropping the act, even for just that moment.

Dick smiles, slipping both hands into Jason’s hair and grabbing hold of his black curls. Then he pulls him forward and feeds him his cock.

Jason starts sucking and licking like lives for this. And Dick knows he kind of does. He guides Jason further down his shaft until he gets to the base. Then he firms his grip, holding him there.

He waits until those fiery, passionate eyes flicker up to him. He drags the pads of his thumbs across Jason’s cheekbones in a tender caress.

Then he takes advantage of the fact that the younger man’s mouth is full and he can’t protest or complain.

“I love you, Jason,” Dick says softly, earnestly.

The expression that flickers across Jason’s face is difficult to read. It looks surprised, then confused, and finally settles on something that looks like a cross between relief and skepticism. Dick desperately wants to get rid of that last one.

But then Jason’s moving, working his throat around the head of Dick’s dick while his lips apply pressure to the base and he hollows his cheeks.

Dick gasps and snaps his hips forward trying to get more of that soft, wet heat. He holds Jason’s head still and starts fucking his mouth.

He’s rough and unforgiving, just the way he knows Jason likes. He doesn’t give any warning when comes, just clutches Jason to him and spills down his throat, forcing him to swallow.

Jason gasps for air when Dick finally lets go and steps back. He has to take a moment to catch his own breath, while zipping up his pants.

When it looks like Jason has mostly recovered he reaches for him, runs his fingers through his hair, and offers him a hand up.

Jason looks up at him like he’s an idiot and Dick can’t help but chuckle. He’d forgotten Jason was still cuffed.

He helps Jay get his feet under him and frees him. Then he pulls up Jason’s pants and fastens them.

When he looks back up Jason is giving him a funny look.

“Wha—“

Dick doesn’t get the chance to finish. Jason pushes him against the two-way mirror and kisses him, as deeply and passionately as he does everything else.

They make out for a long, lazy minute. Then, when their lips separate, Jason rests his forehead against Dick’s, leaning against him, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

“I love you too, Dickie,” Jason whispers, so quietly that if it weren’t for the puffs of air against his face Dick might have missed it.

Dick holds tighter, locks his arms around Jason’s shoulders and squeezing him like a constrictor.

“Little wing,” he signs, “I’m so happy you visited me at work.”

Jason snorts. But rests his head on Dick’s shoulder, sagging into him. 


End file.
